Today was tiring.� I�woke up at 2a.m. And either did not go back to sleep or slept so lightly that I might as well have been awake.� I�arrived at work about 8:15 after dropping Emily off at school (Lidija stayed the night with Liz).� I deck scrubbed more of the store knowing on Friday weapos;re supposed to have a visit from the new OVP (yippee).� But, in all fairness, it is my job still to give a good impression of my store.
The 1st part of the day was a bit of a downer.� Not sure what that was all about to be honest.� Maybe just anxiety.
Talking to Cecilia picked up my spirits a bit.� Mike dropping in wasnapos;t that bad of a deal either.� He asked me if I�was sure I wanted to step down.� I�reassured him it is the right decision for me at this time.� I�told Mike that the pressure and stress from work were not helping me with regards to my level of stress.� I�also told Mike that I�think work was a contributing factor, though not solely to blame, to the relational breakdown between Cecilia and myself. �I�honestly think if I�am to have a chance to win Cecilia back I�need to reduce the amount of stress in my life for the time being.� I wonapos;t necessarily say work was #1 in my life before, but I�can say for certain that Cecilia was not.� This was my biggest problem with regards to how I�approached our relationship.� Cecilia should have always been #1 in my book.� Number one, IMO, means #1 in all areas.... Honor, communication, respect, support, love, helping around the house, helping with the kids, chores, cooking, whatever it takes for her to know she is the most precious thing in my life. �I must admit, I do look forward to being able to practice this concept.� I�have been asked, "What if she walks all over you for doing that?"� Well, if she does, then she does.� Though, I�did reply, "She wonapos;t.� Sheapos;s not that kind of person.� She is a very giving and helpful person."� Iapos;m not worried about that since I�cannot control how sheapos;d react to me if I�can develop all the skills and habits to make her #1. �Thereapos;s an old country saying that goes something like this... "If mamma ainapos;t happy, then ainapos;t nobody happy"� How freaking true is that nugget of wisdom?
In other news, dad is sounding better.� Still at the hospital, but sounding better. �I�talked to him tonight and he seemed to be in decent spirits considering he was just told heapos;s had a series of strokes and is a diabetic.� Woohoo.... Life changes on the way.� Between this crap and the stuff my mom dealt with the last few months of her life... Yeah, makes me want to have a wholesale change in my way of living.� I�am, afterall, hoping things work out and I�end up with that happily ever after gig, ya know?��:)
Peace.
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